Marriage was never designed to benefit women. In modern discussions, criticizing marriage, a concept deeply integrated into the foundation of Western civilization, is perceived as an attack on those who participate in it. While acknowledging the discomfort it may cause, it is essential to engage with critiques of institutions that have a history of oppression, as marriage does. Upon reading several personal experiences and research studies on the topic, it has been revealed that marriage simply does not prioritize women's happiness.
To begin, the wedding itself and certain traditions it entails perpetuate harmful
patriarchal systems. For example, outdated practices persist today, such as the father “giving away the bride” to the groom, reflecting historical notions of women as
possessions of men [2]. While individual choices in engaging in these practices should
be respected, it is crucial to recognize women as individuals with agency rather than
property [2]. In modern society, people should understand that this is not a mandatory
aspect of a wedding.
Once married and living together with their husband, further challenges are
experienced typically uniquely by women. In heteronormative marriages, the man is
expected to act as the breadwinner, while the woman becomes the homemaker [2]. A
major challenge that comes with the latter role is the concept of emotional labor, which
is when women are expected to provide unpaid and unrecognized support for men's
daily activities [2]. Even if men and women may be working the same amount of hours
in the day, women are still often assumed to be the ones who cook dinner, care for kids,
and do housework every day when they get home [2]. Meanwhile, men are generally
assumed to be responsible for off-hand “manly” household chores, like fixing the
occasional leaky faucet. This is one example of the many negative side effects of
stereotypical gender roles.
Furthermore, despite societal progress and increased female participation in the
workforce, perceptions of traditional gender and marriage roles continue to burden
women at work. Married women face stereotypes that assume they will prioritize family
over career. For example, there is a widespread assumption that women will pay less
attention to their job compared to domestic responsibilities that will take up more of
their time after marriage [3]. It is also believed that women make more “compromises”
after marriage, such as moving cities, changing jobs, settling for a less fulfilling job, or
giving up working entirely [3]. Thus, companies may tend to view women as flaky
employees who are less likely to stick around, especially married women or those
expecting to have children in the near future.
Sociological insights highlight that it is men who predominantly reap the benefits
of marriage. On average, married men tend to live longer, enjoy better health and
overall well-being, and experience improved economic prospects [1]. In contrast, studies
indicate that married women often face a shorter lifespan [1]. Further, marriage alone
does not guarantee happiness for women; their contentment is contingent on the quality
of the marriage [1].
When it comes to divorce, the financial repercussions disproportionately affect
women. Research indicates a substantial drop of around 21-30% in women's incomes
occurs after divorce, a setback that takes an average of six years to recover from [1]. This
economic disparity can be attributed in part to the financial burdens associated with
raising children, which adversely impact women's earning potential [1].
The legalization of LGBTI+ marriage in the U.S. in 2015 offers a refreshing
perspective to stereotypical gender roles. These unions are rewriting the rules and
discarding outdated customs, such as the classic breadwinner/homemaker dynamic.
Same-sex couples often embrace a more balanced partnership without rigid gender
roles, fostering collaboration and finding a dynamic that works for both individuals [2].
It is high time to reevaluate societal expectations surrounding marriage,
encouraging partnerships that promote equality, understanding, and shared
responsibility.
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